On Friendship and Loyalty
This is a “Rant-Style” thing, so if things like Friendship, Honesty and Loyalty bore the bejeezus outta you, then DO NOT READ THIS!
Still here? OK then, let’s roll…
You know how some people talk behind other people’s back? Like, they’re your friend, and everything is Jim Dandy, and then you hear the other stories?
I think a lot of people do that and I was no exception: some years back, I did it, too.
Now I’m ashamed of that.
Don’t get me wrong: I never talked “Behind Other’s Backs”, and then made all friendly with them. If I didn’t like you, you’d know! But yeah, I’d also talk negatively about them when they were NOT there -“Oh that guy? The FAT guy?!”- and that is something I have changed…for good.
Today I want to tell you how I’ve learned my lesson, so I hope you won’t hate me if this post is not about training or nutrition…
Must have been some 3-4 years back now, when I was at a Jiu Jitsu class, and someone cracked a joke, imitating a guy with an accent. The class broke up: “HAHAHA”. I smiled, and said to my training partner: “Who is that, then?” And he replied: “Oh that’s Pedro!”.
I stopped smiling. I thought: “Maaaaaan….”
Because that guy, Pedro, is someone I highly respect, a very good guy, he’s, like, kind, you know?
And I thought: “That’s wrong man, that’s wrong.” Even though I knew those in the class respected him, too, AND liked him. But still they made fun of him. I figured, if he were here, if he heard that, I doubt he’d feel all that good about it.
And then I thought: “I don’t even wanna know what they say about ME when I’m not here…”
That’s the day I made a decision: No more of that, not ever. And I’m sticking to it, it’s an Iron Rule. Kruppstahl.
So if someone makes some “harmless” crack at another, I just do not comment, I don’t participate. Or I simply change the subject.
If it’s a friend of mine, I’ll defend him. One day, at another class, someone called a friend a silly name. But he wasn’t there. And I said, loudly: “I’m not so sure he’d like that if he were here!” That shut ‘em up, I guess…
IMO, true friends don’t do that. They NEVER speak bad about you, unless it’s to your face and you deserve it.
What you see is what you get.
Funny thing? That guy, Pedro, he’s a Jiu Jitsu teacher, one of the best. No too long after he was there again for a seminar, and at the end he said: “You shouldn’t speak bad about others, unless you say it to their face.”
I learned this important lesson thanks to him, but totally indirectly: through that scenario where they laughed about his accent, remember? And I had never mentioned it…
And then he says the exact same thing, like: mind reading! VOODOO, Brother!
Anyways: thanks for listening, I feel better now.