On Friendship and Loyalty
WARNING!
This is a “Rant-Style” thing, so if things like Friendship, Honesty and Loyalty bore the bejeezus outta you, then DO NOT READ THIS!
Still here? OK then, let’s roll…
You know how some people talk behind other people’s back? Like, they’re your friend, and everything is Jim Dandy, and then you hear the other stories?
I think a lot of people do that and I was no exception: some years back, I did it, too.
Now I’m ashamed of that.
Don’t get me wrong: I never talked “Behind Other’s Backs”, and then made all friendly with them. If I didn’t like you, you’d know! But yeah, I’d also talk negatively about them when they were NOT there -“Oh that guy? The FAT guy?!”- and that is something I have changed…for good.
Today I want to tell you how I’ve learned my lesson, so I hope you won’t hate me if this post is not about training or nutrition…
Must have been some 3-4 years back now, when I was at a Jiu Jitsu class, and someone cracked a joke, imitating a guy with an accent. The class broke up: “HAHAHA”. I smiled, and said to my training partner: “Who is that, then?” And he replied: “Oh that’s Pedro!”.
I stopped smiling. I thought: “Maaaaaan….”
Because that guy, Pedro, is someone I highly respect, a very good guy, he’s, like, kind, you know?
And I thought: “That’s wrong man, that’s wrong.” Even though I knew those in the class respected him, too, AND liked him. But still they made fun of him. I figured, if he were here, if he heard that, I doubt he’d feel all that good about it.
And then I thought: “I don’t even wanna know what they say about ME when I’m not here…”
That’s the day I made a decision: No more of that, not ever. And I’m sticking to it, it’s an Iron Rule. Kruppstahl.
So if someone makes some “harmless” crack at another, I just do not comment, I don’t participate. Or I simply change the subject.
If it’s a friend of mine, I’ll defend him. One day, at another class, someone called a friend a silly name. But he wasn’t there. And I said, loudly: “I’m not so sure he’d like that if he were here!” That shut ‘em up, I guess…
IMO, true friends don’t do that. They NEVER speak bad about you, unless it’s to your face and you deserve it.
What you see is what you get.
Funny thing? That guy, Pedro, he’s a Jiu Jitsu teacher, one of the best. No too long after he was there again for a seminar, and at the end he said: “You shouldn’t speak bad about others, unless you say it to their face.”
Weiiiiiiird!
I learned this important lesson thanks to him, but totally indirectly: through that scenario where they laughed about his accent, remember? And I had never mentioned it…
And then he says the exact same thing, like: mind reading! VOODOO, Brother!
Anyways: thanks for listening, I feel better now.
Mark
12 Comments
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Mark, the older I get the more I realize we need to be true to ourselves and not hold back as much as possible.
Yavor- Relative Strength Advantage recently posted..Walking for Weight Loss – Effective or a Waste of Time?
Hey thanks Yavor, you bet! True and wise words, brother.
LOVE this and so true! I always say….be true to you and others!
Thanks Michelle! So nice to have you here.
Mark
You are a good guy mark! this deserves a like!
LOL!
Heehee, thanks Bro, you make me blush! (kidding)
This post may be different as it is not about training and nutrition but there is a good lesson in here. You have Iron Rules. We all need to have something that keeps us grounded. Rules to live by are always necessary. If we want to lead a life by example it is important to stick to our rules and not bend them or break them. This applies to diet and training. It is the easiest way to reach our goals.
Great post.
-Sam
Sam-Look Like An Athlete recently posted..20 Fitness Tips To Make 2013 Your Best Year
Hey thanks Sam, good points man!
Mark
Great stuff, Mark. I live by the ‘What you see is what you get’ motto and if people like me and want to be friends with me because of who I am then that’s great but if they think that I’m an a*hole and don’t want anything to do with me that’s fine too.
Hey thanks Kevin! Well I think you’re a great guy, and I already learned a lot from you. You’re definitely very generous with your time and expertise: thanks for that!
Mark
You are a man of principles Mark, and you stick to it, that’s highly respectable. Good post.
Thanks Elli, much appreciated!